Dating and maintaining long-term relationships can be hard, and sometimes people just aren’t compatible with each other and require a break up. But what happens when the timing just isn’t right or people need space? Should that couple go on a break to try to figure things out?
Breaks Work For Some, Not All
To go an effective break, you need to set ground rules with your partner so that you both feel comfortable. Are you both allowed to see other people or explore options outside of the relationship? Are you just taking some space apart? Figure out how long you’ll be taking the break for each other and stick to each other boundaries as best as you can. Whether the break is meant to strengthen the relationship or it’s meant to allow folks to see if they want to exit the relationship, it’s important to respect each other’s wishes.
The No-Contact Rule
In order for it to be a true break, the no-contact rule needs to be implemented. We’d suggest muting one another on social media and refraining from texting unless it’s absolutely necessary (for instance, if you are co-parenting or sharing financial responsibilities). While you are in the middle of your break, if the ground rules allow, you might want to meet new people and find new ways to connect while on the break. The best way to do this is through phone dating.
Why? Well, chat lines provide an outlet to connect and have intimate conversations with local strangers. You tickle that itch to explore your options without basing it on sex or physical appearance. Instead, you are seeing if connection outside of the relationship actually makes sense to you by calling a chat line to find someone new to engage with.
The beauty in this is that you might discover that you really miss your significant other after all. Or, you mind find that others out there are way more compatible with you and the proof is int he pudding.
Coming Back Together
Let’s say you’ve gone out, gone on dates outside the relationship, and are still left wondering once the break has ended. Coming back together might feel confusing, but you don’t have to have it all figured out! Set a time to meet with your partner, and be prepared to have a discussion about your future together.
Compile a list of your learnings and desires. Again, you don’t have to have the answers. This conversation should feel like a collaboration. Ask your partner how they felt on the break and what they’ve learned as well. If it feels right to continue down the relationship road together, give it a shot for a few weeks to see how you feel now that you are both more evolved than how you started!
But, if it doesn’t feel right, you now know that moving on is the right decision. And the hardest pill to swallow is that if one partner wants to move on and the other doesn’t, it’s very likely that a breakup is the next step.
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