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In a relationship but love the thrill of the chase or having sexy fun without getting caught? is the online space for married dating and casual sex, whether you’re attached and want a thrill or you’re single but get off on being the “other” person.

For more than 14 years, has been a safe, discreet place for casual hookups and virtual encounters. If you thought you were alone in your cheating ways, think again. The site has nearly 3.5 million members and more than 20,000 new members join every week. You’re definitely not alone in your desires or your need for discretion. allows you to have an anonymous profile so you can keep your identity a secret. Make phone calls without disclosing your phone number and send emails back and forth within the inbox messaging system. Whether you want a secret romance or just a quick hookup, makes it possible.


Like other dating and hookup sites, you can join for free. Make sure you take advantage of any special offers they have for new members, especially during your free trial. This way you can enjoy full access and find your secret fling faster. Joining is extremely simple.

  • Enter a preferred username.
  • Share your status: attached female, single female, attached male, single male
  • Share what you’re looking for: attached female, single female, attached male, single male
  • Enter your email. This will be used to validate your account.

You can join for free, and you can keep a free membership for as long as you’d like. If you’d like more access, you’ll want to join as a VIP member.

Standard (Free) Membership

  • Username listed on “Members Online” list.
  • Receive a Match Report by email with no more than 10 new member matches.
  • Messages/emails are viewable for 30 days.
  • Add up to 200 members to your Hotlist.
  • Receive technical support by email within two days.
  • Limited ability to send emails/messages to other members.
  • Limited ability to view other members profiles.
  • Upload your photos.
  • Upload your videos.

VIP Membership

With VIP membership, you get everything a standard member receives plus much more.

  • Receive the Match Report by email with 30 or more new member matches.
  • Messages/emails are viewable for 120 days.
  • Add up to 1000 members to your Hotlist.
  • Receive technical support by email within 12 hours.
  • Show up at the top of members search results.
  • Search the database by username.
  • Get your profile and photos reviewed faster.
  • Access to tech support by phone.
  • Search for matches by distance and save your search.
  • Watch member videos.
  • View other members photos.

VIP Membership Cost

Having VIP access to isn’t cheap. You’re definitely paying for the privilege of secret hookups and indulging your down-low ways.

  • Month-to-month, $28.95 per month
  • 2 months, $26.95 per month – you pay $53.90 upfront
  • 3 months, $25.95 per month – you pay $77.85 upfront
  • 4 months, $23.96 per month – you pay $95.84 upfront
  • 5 months, $22.95 per month – you pay $114.75 upfront
  • 6 months, $20.96 per month – you pay $125.76 upfront

Your account will be set to auto-renew once you enter a credit card unless you turn it off in your account settings.

Open the Door

Another feature that paid members can take advantage of is Open the Door. This feature allows standard (free) members to email you and view your complete profile. The downside, of course, is that you’re paying for this feature. The upside is that you’ve got more potential matches and can get more hookups out of it.

  • Month-to-month, $19.95 per month
  • 3 months, $11.97 per month – you pay $35.90 upfront
  • 12 months, $8.95 per month – you pay $107.40 upfront

Highlight Listings

Another feature you can use to help you make more matches is Highlight Listings. The cost is $9.95 per month or you can pay for three months for $26.85.

Using isn’t a complicated dating and hookup site. Your homepage, once you login, has a simple and clean layout making it easy to use. Depending on your level of membership, you’ll see more or less stuff. VIP members will see the members who best match your preferences, live model chat, member videos, and live member webcams.

Complete Your Profile

To make sure you get the most matches and connect with the people you want to connect with, complete your profile. It’s easy to access from your homepage, and the helpful status bar will let you know if there’s still more to do.

  • Basic information: a little about you and what you’re looking for
  • Location
  • Physical features
  • Lifestyle information: education, occupation, marital status
  • Match preferences
  • Photos and videos – if you want to maintain your privacy, don’t upload public photos or videos that show your face.

Cheating Tips wants you to be successful in your secret and sexy hookups, so they feature random “cheating tips” on your homepage. You can also click the link at the top of the page to see them all. Some are tips on how best to use the site, but some are tips to help make sure you don’t get caught.

Nudity or No Nudity

Sure, you’re on a cheating hookup website, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you want to see someone’s junk on your screen. You can turn your content filter on (no nudity) or off (ALL the nudity).


Want to show someone you think they’re cute or interesting but don’t want to send a message yet? Send a flirt instead. It’s a quick, easy way to let someone know they’ve got your attention.


Getting around the website is ridiculously easy. While it may not be the prettiest site ever, it’s definitely not complicated either. Want to know more about a match? Click on their name. Just curious about them? Use your mouse (from a browser) to hover over their name for a quick peek. The site itself is sectioned off in fairly easy and obvious ways.

Find Members

  • My Member Matches
  • Refind Your Search
  • Members Near Me
  • My Favorite Photos
  • Advanced Search: search by location, gender, ethnicity, body type, lifestyle, habits, and more

Find Video

  • Member Videos
  • High Quality Member Videos
  • Hottest Member Videos
  • My Favorite Videos
  • Recent Member Videos

Upload: This is where you upload videos and photos of your own.

Live Webcam

If you prefer to watch the action instead of chat with people, members and models go on cam all the time. Since isn’t a cam site, don’t expect as much as you’d find on other websites.

  • Live Member Cams
  • Live Model Webcams
  • Broadcast My Webcam

Private Network

When you upload videos or photos to your profile, they can be public or private. If someone wants to see your private images, they have to request access. In your Private Network, you can also keep track of who’s requested access and which private networks you’ve requested access to, as well.


This is your email and message area. You can send messages here and not have to worry about a snooping partner finding them on your phone or in your personal email. Even better, you don’t have to share your personal email with a match so you can maintain your anonymity.


In this section, you can see the members you’ve hotlisited up to your limit, based on your membership level. Even better, you can see who’s hotlisted you in case you see someone you want to get to know better.

Views: See who has viewed your profile.


You can everyone you’ve sent a flirt to. Even better, you can see everyone who’s sent a flirt to you. You never know when you’ll find a match that way.

Payments and Refunds accepts multiple forms of payments: all major credit cards, debit cards, check or money order by mail, and even credit card by fax (people still fax?) or mail. On your credit card or bank statement, charges will show up as “FRIENDFINDER 4087021033” so that your payments stay discreet.

If you join as a paid member and prepay for any time, don’t expect a refund if you cancel your account before your membership renews. You won’t get any money back for days you’re not using the site. So use it or lose it.

Tech Issues has a fairly extensive Help page with their frequently asked questions. Most of these will probably tell you what you need to know. If you have a technical problem while using, you can call the 800 number or use the contact page. How quickly your question is answered will depend on your membership level. Support by phone is only available for VIP members.