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Are you kinky? Living and loving the BDSM life? Ready to meet other like-minded kinksters? is one of the longest running BDSM dating, fetish, and kink sites on the web. More than a million members are coming out kinky on, and you can too!

Ever feel like most dating and hookup sites aren’t for you? You know the sites. Everyone wants the same vanilla stuff and thinks a light tap on the butt during sex is kinky. That’s nice for some people, but you’ve got fetishes that might scare people! Check out and find other people who like what you like and are looking for their perfect fetish match, too. is more than a hookup site, although there’s plenty of kinky sex to be found. It’s a complete community with blogs, groups, and information shared between people who know what it means to feel different. You want sex and relationships that non-kinky people sometimes find scary. You’re not a freak, and at you’ll find out that you’re not alone, either.

Learn more about yourself, find a community where you belong, or just look for the kinkiest person who shares your fetishes and hook up. Whatever gets you off and makes you happy in BDSM can be found at


Like most dating and hookup sites, you can join for free. Basic membership is always free but take advantage of whatever free offer they’ve got so you can get the most out of the site and start making matches with other kinksters.

It’s easy to join and only takes a few minutes. You can join as a single person, a couple, or a poly/kink family.

  • Choose who you’re joining as: Man, Woman, Couple (m/f, m/m, or f/f), Group, or TS/TV/TG (transsexual/transvestite/transgender)
  • Choose what you’re looking for: Man, Woman, Couple (m/f, m/m, f/f), Group, or TS/TV/TG
  • Enter your date of birth, country, and zip code
  • Choose a username and password
  • Enter a valid email offers multiple levels of membership for you to choose from. The free trial gives you a taste of Gold Membership. If you decide not to continue at that level after the trial ends, you’ll become a free member.

Free Registration

  • Access to the instant messenger system
  • Access to the chat rooms
  • Upload a video greeting
  • Upload photos
  • Create and view personality test results
  • Have a limited ability to view profiles, send messages, and send voice greetings
  • Receive tech support by email within two days
  • Add up to 200 members to your Hotlist
  • View your email messages in for 30 days
  • Receive email with up to 10 new matching members

Silver Membership

With the Silver Membership, you get everything a free member does plus a lot more.

  • View first five member photos
  • Watch member videos
  • Contact tech support by phone
  • Search by distance and save your search settings
  • View past polls and results
  • Use premium smilies in chat
  • Have your username included on Member Online List
  • Receive faster profile and photo reviews
  • Use the database search
  • Receive tech support by email within 24 hours
  • Add up to 500 people to your Hotlist
  • View your email messages in for 60 days
  • Receive email with up to 20 new matching members
  • Send emails to members in
  • Send voice messages to other members

Gold Membership

Gold Membership offers the most access on and increases your chances of making multiple kinky matches. You get everything that free and Silver members receive plus more.

  • Listed in the top of each members search results
  • Get ICQ, AIM, YIM, and MSN IDs of members in your network
  • View all of the photos a member uploads
  • Access the super search with priority form
  • Receive tech support by email within 12 hours
  • Add up to 1000 people to your Hotlist
  • View your email messages in for 120 days
  • Receive email with all new matching members (30+)

Cost of Gold Membership

To get an idea of pricing, check out Gold Membership prices. You can choose to pay on a month-by-month basis or prepay for several months at a time.

  • Month-to-month, $28.95 per month
  • 2 months, $26.95 per month – you pay $53.90 upfront
  • 3 months, $25.95 per month – you pay $77.85 upfront
  • 4 months, $23.96 per month – you pay $95.84 upfront
  • 5 months, $22.95 per month – you pay $114.75 upfront
  • 6 months, $20.96 per month – you pay $125.76 upfront

VIP Membership

You can also upgrade your Gold Membership to VIP Membership at any point. As a VIP, you still have everything you enjoy as a Gold Membership, plus a few perks:

  • VIP icon on your listings
  • Show up in a special VIP search
  • Listed in Cupid’s Report
  • Get notified when someone reads your message, plus you get 500 points to use on virtual gifts.

The cost for VIP membership is $29.95 a month with no option for a discount like with the Gold Membership.

Standard Contacts

Another option for paying members to help make more matches is to purchase Standard Contacts (in addition to your paid membership). This allows free members to view your profile and message you. Yes, you’re paying for a free member to get better access, but if finding the perfect match is important to you, this makes it even more likely you’ll make good matches.

  • Month-to-month, $19.95 per month
  • 3 months, $11.97 per month – you pay $35.90 upfront
  • 12 months, $8.95 per month – you pay $107.40 upfront

Highlight Listings

Another feature you can use to help you make more matches is Highlight Listings. The cost is $9.95 per month or you can pay for three months for $26.85. This will highlight your profile when you’re listed.

BDSM Movies Access Pass

Another option you can purchase from is an all-access pass to the more than 200 BDSM movies (ahem, porn) available. You get unlimited access and no streaming limits.

  • Month-to-month, $14.95 per month
  • 3 months, $9.97 per month – you pay $29.90 upfront

Private Chat Rooms

If you want to have an even safer space to chat with other like-minded kinky people, you can purchase access to a private chat room. This lets you host your own private chat parties and get as wild as you’d like. You can keep it open so anyone can join the fun or you can password protect it and control who enters.

  • Month-to-month, $9.95 per month
  • 3 months for $20.85
  • 6 months for $35.70

Your account will be set to auto-renew on any and all subscriptions or memberships you purchase once you enter a credit card unless you turn it off in your account settings. At renewal, you will be charged the non-discounted prices.


Once you’ve joined and start making matches, you’ll find there are plenty of ways to experience Chat with people and get to know them. Watch members and models on live webcam. Upload photos of you doing something kinky or enjoying a BDSM scene. Add people to your Hotlist, like pictures, and comment on stuff. You can also join a group, discuss specific kinks, or write a blog post. And that’s just the basics. Here are a few other things you need to know about using

Earn Points

The Points Program lets you earn points just by interacting with and using All kinds of things will earn you a few points here and there: upload photos, write a blog post, comment, update your status, vote, refer friends, or confirm your identity. You can also purchase points if you want.

  • 200 points for $3.00
  • 500 points for $6.00
  • 1000 points for $10.00

Why do the points matter so much? Because you can redeem them for good stuff!

  • Sex toys
  • Member upgrades
  • Private chat room access
  • Bling
  • And more!

Cupid Preferences

Want to make more matches? Not loving the matches you’ve made recently? You might need to update your Cupid Preferences. This tells what you’re looking for and what you like so the site can help you find your kinky match. It’s not just the type of person or people you want or their age and location but also body type, hair color, sexual orientation, and marital status.

Purity Test

Want to do something fun with your new friends on Take the Purity Test. Answer the questions to find out how pure or naughty you’ve been in your lifetime and on You can share the results or keep them private.

Fetish Consent Worksheet

The basic premise of communication and consent sounds easy until you try to negotiate a BDSM scene or figure out what you and your hookup or partner like. The Fetish Consent Worksheet, a printable form, makes that easier. Use it to help negotiate your limits in a scene and keep the lines of communication open and clear.

ConfirmID Verification

ConfirmID is a free third-party verification service that lets you confirm your identity. Your profile gets a “Confirmed” label which lets other members know you’re who you say you are. The service uses a member’s non-identifying attributes like age, gender, and body type to confirm their identity.


Want to let someone know you think they’re hot? Like to flirt but don’t feel like sending a message yet? Send a wink instead. It’s an easy way to let someone know you find them attractive and noticed them.


While your homepage, once you login to, may look a little crowded — depending your membership level — navigating is fairly simple. There’s a lot to see and do, but it’s easy to find.

My Stuff

As the name implies, this is where all of your information and interactions can be found.

  • Profile
  • Photos
  • Friends
  • Favorites
  • Hotlist
  • My Kinks
  • And more


Unless you’re a Gold member, you won’t have access to all of the search capabilities so you might not see the entire list.

  • Who’s Online
  • New Matches
  • Members Near Me
  • VIP members
  • Hot or Not
  • Advanced Search
  • Kink Search
  • Browse

Live Action

This is where you can easily find kinky cam models and members sharing their fetishes to get you off and drive you wild..

  • Live Models
  • Live Member Webcams
  • Top Broadcasters
  • Adult Chat Rooms
  • Instant Messenger

Community understands that in BDSM, the community is extremely important. Yes, you want to get freaky with someone who shares your kinks, but for some members, there’s more to it than that. The Community section is a way to connect with other kinksters on a deeper level.

  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • Magazine
  • Bling

What’s Hot

If you just like to know who and what other members find sexy and fun, check out What’s Hot.

  • Hottest Photos
  • Hottest Videos
  • Hottest Albums
  • Top Members
  • Adult Movies

Payments and Refunds accepts all major credit/debit cards. You can also pay by PayPal and online check. If you’re old school (no judgement here!), you can mail in a check or credit card payment or fax in a credit card payment. On your bank or credit card statement, the charge will show up as*FRIENDF.

No refunds are offered for early termination of your membership. If you end things early and want to cancel your account, you won’t receive a prorated refund for any time remaining on your membership or subscription.

Tech Issues offers a comprehensive Help page designed to answer most of your questions and troubleshoot most problems. When you need more help than that, you can use the contact page to email your question or, if you’re a paying member, you can call the customer service number for further assistance. How quickly you receive a response or get someone on the phone depends on your membership level. is a mobile-friendly site, so you can access and use it from any smartphone or tablet. If you have an iPhone, download the app.


Because of the nature of BDSM and kink, takes safety seriously. You can and should report members who violate the Terms of Service. This includes harassment or abusive behavior, send solicitations, posting fake photos, or anything that you think may be problematic.