Tantra and tantric sex have, for many decades, undergone a modern transformation as western society has embraced this ancient practice dating back thousands of years. You have more than likely heard the word Tantra in a sexual connotation, which can be attributed to its origins relating to esoteric traditions found in Hinduism and Buddhism.

Understanding Tantra

The word Tantra itself cannot be attributed to one meaning. It has evolved into the sphere of new-age spirituality, alongside the journey towards deeper human connection, healing and the awakening of the authentic self. Those who embrace Tantra can find an increased sense of self-awareness and self-love which has the potential to evolve into more intimate relationships with their partners, both in and out of the bedroom.

There is great debate surrounding the origins of Tantra with ancient texts contradicting each other and no universally accepted definition of the concept. Etymologically, the word Tantra translates to “loom” in Sanskrit. Metaphorically, the word means “weave, like a thread”, alluding to the idea of being interwoven. A similar meaning is derived from the Sanskrit word “sutra”, translating literally to “thread”. If we look at the ancient teachings of Kamasutra, surrounding love, desire, restraint and vulnerability we begin to witness similarities between both Tantra and Kamasutra. Through a deeper analysis, we understand that both teachings are not solely about sex, but rather a deeper connection to ourselves, the people around us and the divine energies of the universe. These components are the foundations of what Tantra has become today.

“The more you know yourself, the more you can know others. Tantra practice is a platform for self-discovery through embracing vulnerability,” states Hans van den Herik, Tantra Teacher

A Growing Interest in Tantra and Tantric Sex

In modern times there has been a renewed interest in the teachings of Tantra especially in the Western world. Many see Tantra as a path towards self-awareness and self-love. They practice it alongside other ascetic disciplines such as yoga, meditation, breath work, conscious touch, ecstatic dance, and energy work. Tantra has become a life approach which integrates sexuality, emotions, senses, and higher consciousness that can help practitioners reach a state of heightened intimacy with their partners and increase their emotional intelligence as individuals.

“For me, the practice of Tantra is about being comfortable sitting with discomfort, allowing yourself to break through emotional barriers and ultimately lead to a higher state of emotional intelligence,” says Matt, Tantra student

Tantra for Couples

Modern tantric workshops can be catered to couples, singles or both. Workshops use various techniques such as group meditations, conscious touch, eye-gazing, breath work and safe-space conversation. The aim being to let go of societal conditioning, limiting beliefs and sexual inhibitions that prevent many of us from reaching our full potential as sexual beings.

Feelings of anxiety, aversion and self-judgement can manifest into problems in the bedroom such as the inability to tell your partner how to please you, or feelings of discomfort when naked with your partner. Tantra’s journey towards the embodiment of self-love and compassion helps to remove these limitations, often resulting in more pleasurable sexual experiences for both men and women.

Sex as an Exchange of Energy

Tantra has always recognized sexual intercourse as an exchange of energy, hence the translation to the word “thread” and “loom”. The practice provides us with the tools to work with our sexual energy, both masculine and feminine, and explore the realms of non-duality through the sacred act of sex.

We have seen the act of sex take on a negative transformation in many cases revealing an indelicate exchange of sexual energy. It resembles more of a crude 7-minute pornography scene rather than hours of pure, virtuous connection. I have seen both sides of this scenario.

The one where I am able to completely let go with a partner who delicately honors every inch my body, taking the time to build up our sexual energy and erotically connect with each other on so many levels, resulting in the most intense, earth-shattering climaxes.

I’ve also experienced the other side of the scenario. Pants are around the ankles before my body gets a minute to show signs of arousal, and my partner thinks that 10 seconds of kissing my nipples is considered foreplay. The result, complete disconnect, a few minutes of heavy panting and a fake orgasm. To me, the latter is not an exchange of positive sexual energy for either party involved.

The reintroduction of Tantra and tantric sex into the modern world aims to bring virtuous connectivity back into the spectrum. We see a shift towards the awakened and compassionate human, away from both toxic masculinity and toxic femininity. And we explore heart-centered realms of connectivity and non-duality that manifest into improved relationships and intimacy with our partners.