You met through a dating app, and it was fun — for a while. Now you’ve lost interest and want to move on.

Maybe you met through mutual friends, people you both still want to hang out with. They set you up, thinking you’d be perfect for each other, but…nothing. No spark, no lust, and you’re ready for it to be over.

Losing interest happens to all of us, and it sucks, especially when you wanted it to work out. What you do now matters. Why? Because it says a lot about who you are as a person.

If you’re not happy, get out of the relationship. But whatever you do, don’t do any of these things…

Ghost on Them

Ghosting means that you vanish into thin air…like a ghost. You stop texting, calling, or responding to messages. Your (former) partner gets nothing but silence and keeps reaching out, sometimes for weeks, before they give up. Being on the receiving end of that absolutely sucks. It kills their confidence, makes them angry, and can do real harm.

You might think you’re avoiding drama and a fight, but the pain and confusion ghosting can cause is much worse. Call, stop by, or (at the absolute minimum) text them and tell them you’re not interested. Make it clear that it’s over. If they freak out and blow up your phone, then feel free to block and ignore them. But at least make the effort first.

Gaslight Them

If you’re stuck in a situation where you can’t avoid this person — thanks to work or friends — don’t act like they’re crazy. Do not pretend it didn’t happen or tell them and everyone else things you know aren’t true.

“I don’t know what she’s talking about. We never slept together.”

“You’re imagining it. We never had a thing going.”

Not only do you cause unnecessary pain, you look like an ass. Own your part in the hookup or relationship and tell them it’s over. And if they dump you, you still shouldn’t gaslight anyone about it. If anyone asks, say you don’t want to talk about it. You’re not obligated to give anyone the details of every hookup or date you’ve ever had.

Be an Ass

Some people can’t take a hint, and it can be really frustrating. But purposefully being mean to anyone to get them to dump you reeks of immaturity. If they’re not getting the hint, it’s because you’re, ya know, hinting that you don’t want to see them anymore. Stop that and say it straight up: “I’m not interested and I don’t want to see you anymore.” You don’t have to be rude when you do it, just direct and to the point.

On the other side of that, once it’s over, don’t be an ass to make yourself look good. Maybe they confessed some personal stuff or you learned things no one else knows about them. Keep that to yourself. Don’t insult them to your friends to distance yourself from having ever hooked up with or dated them. It happened, and it’s over. Be cool about it.

Spread Rumors

If you get asked why you’re not with them anymore, don’t say anything that isn’t true. You don’t know when you’re going to encounter this person again — maybe even in a professional setting. Do you really want to be remembered as the guy who told everyone this person was bad at sex or couldn’t give head? Rumors nearly always have a way of getting back to the person they’re about. You look like the douche you are for spreading them, and it hurts your credibility with others — even your own friends.

Deny You Were Together

Ever had a friend ask, “Didn’t you and so-and-so hook up that one time?” If it didn’t end well, or you’re embarrassed (for whatever reason) that it happened, you might be tempted to deny it. Don’t do it..

Why does it matter? We all do things we regret later, even if it’s taking someone home or dating them long-term. But pretending it didn’t happen says we can’t own our past. It shows that you’d rather lie to someone than admit something you don’t like. When it gets found out — and it will — you’ll be in that weird position of having to admit you lied which means you can’t be trusted. It’s not a good look.

So why should you care about this? If you’re not interested and it’s over, why can’t you just pretend it never happened or say whatever you want (even if it’s not true)? Because this is about the kind of person you want to be and the kind of people you want to attract. Treat people like crap, and one day the only people left will treat you worse. Lie and deny what’s true, and no one will trust you. Act like a big player who can do what you want, and finding a happy relationship won’t happen.